I just got back from performing two shows in Alaska with my boy Tommy Davidson. We performed at Eielson Air Base which is just outside of Fairbanks and at the Richardson/Elmendorf Joint Base in Anchorage. Alaska was beautiful. The air seems so much cleaner there. You almost feel guilty for farting outside. Almost. As for the shows, amazing. I love me some Military Base crowds. So much energy in the room. It’s an event not a show. Here are some pics from the trip.

Your favorite world traveler is back at it again. I just got back from Japan and now I am about to head right back. But before we get to that, let’s talk about the first trip. It got cut short which was unfortunate. We were supposed to go to Korea as well but that half of the trip got cancelled last minute. I had never been to Korea and was really looking forward to it. Plus, I had a day off scheduled there which promised to be a good time, but oh well. So I basically traveled 23 hours each way for one show. Good life decision, Rob.

But I did get to sit in Business Class each way and all I can say is, wow! I was comfortable on a plane, actually comfortable. There were hundreds of movies and TV shows to choose from. They had stuff that I didn’t even think was out yet. You know the two youngest Kardashian sisters? They had their sex tapes already. Good times. Apparantly, they love the black penis as well. Like sisters, like younger sisters.

The show itself was awesome. I performed at Iwakuni Marine Base. Crowd was fun and I met some really cool people. And I didn’t make the mistake I made when I was there in 2009, the great Tequila shot debacle. Rather than lick the salt and suck on the lime they had me snort the salt and squirt the lime in my eye. Horrendous! And why would I do this to myself? Because they are Marines and when I said no way they called me a pussy so I, of course, caved just like a pussy would. Well not this time! This time I told them hell no! Or I snuck out the back door of the club before they could corner me. Oohrah!

And now its time for round three. I will be performing with my buddy Topmmy Davidson again. We will be doing our thing on May 7 and 8 at Misawa Air Base and at Yokosuka Naval Base. Lets get it on!

I am off to Japan. Yes, Japan. I will be performing at Iwakuni Marine Base on April 15. I will then head to Korea and perform at Osan Air Base on the 16th. That’s South Korea. I hope. Essentially, I am logging 45 hours in airports/airplanes, dodging earthquakes and tsunamis and risking radiation poisoning to tell dick jokes to our troops. Sounds about right. My girlfriend doesn’t want me to go because she fears for my safety. She should be more afraid of my Asian fetish. I want to go because I fear for my safety. Well, that and the Asian fetish. But seriously, can you imagine how much this could help career if something happens to me over there? Anything short of death or losing the ability to speak and it’s advantage Rob’s career. I can see the headlines now. Comedian almost dies performing for US troops as another quake hits Japan. Or, Earthquake measures a 7.0 on the Richter scale. Rob Maher measures a 10 on the laughter scale. D.C. Comedian kills it on stage while tsunamis kills hundreds on the street. News at 11.

So wish me luck everybody. Hopefully, I will break a leg. Figuratively and literally.