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Author: Rob Maher

5 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

5 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

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1. I can fly. Like, literally fly. I refuse to save anyone, though. People need to take responsibilities for their actions.

2. I’m 492-0 in rap battles. Suck it bitches! Don’t hate.

3. I can talk to animals. They don’t like us.  Especially cows, chickens and pigs.  Not fans of us humans. Birds hate us too. You should probably know that. They shit on us daily. If somebody took a dump on your car you wouldn’t wonder how he feels about you. And cats loathe us. If you have a cat and you think it likes or even loves you, you’re an idiot.  That cat just hates you less than everyone else. Whiskers is just using you for food and shelter.

4.Rihanna texts me everyday. I always respond with, if you like it put a ring on it. This drives her crazy because she can’t stand Beyonce.

5. I am a world class musician. Throughout my life I’ve been a member of the Miami Sound Machine, the Pips, SWV, the Funky Bunch, Wham!, Hall and Oates, Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young and Maher and the Judds.

Not Up Next

Not Up Next

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I didn’t advance in Comedy Central’s Up Next competition. My set went great but apparently I wasn’t what they were looking for. Oh well. Back to the drawing board.  And by drawing board I mean bar.  That would be a good name for a bar.  Nobody steal that.

Up Next!

Up Next!

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I am a semi finalist in Comedy Central’s Up Next Talent Search. I’ll be performing Oct 21 in Boston at the Wilbur Theatre. Ten comics will perform. The top two will move on to the finals in NYC on Nov 6. Please tweet me some good luck tweets with @RobMaher and this hashtag in the tweet. #CCUpNext. That way your tweet will show up here. Thanks everyone. Hopefully, I will have some good news for you soon.