These are my predictions for 2012. They will happen. I have a gift for these things. If you don’t want to know which famous celebrity will die this year, who Kim Kardashian will date next, this year’s Super Bowl winner, the next great tech invention or many other 2012 tidbits please stop reading now. I don’t want to spoil the entire year for you. For the rest of you, enjoy.

1. Hollywood will continue the trend of making movies out of TV Shows. In 2012 production of The Fall Guy will begin. The Fall guy was an awesome 80’s TV show about a stuntman who moonlights as a bounty hunter. It starred Lee Majors. Today’s version will star Jason Statham. It will be in 3D. I will see it seven times.

2. A new iPhone will come out. People will make way too big of a deal over it. People, well just guys actually, will wait in long lines for hours to get it. Once they get it they will be very happy but only for a short time because this iPhone, just like every other iPhone, will not come with a girlfriend.

3. Kim Kardashian is single again fellas so we have all a chance again. And by all, I mean professional athletes. That takes me way out of the running. The early rumors have Kim and the soon to be divorced Kobe Bryant getting together or her possibly getting back with Reggie Bush. I don’t see it. She’s done the whole NBA and NFL thing and by done the whole NBA and NFL I mean she’s done the whole NBA and NFL. I am pretty sure she was a part of both leagues Collective Bargaining Agreement. So with that said, I see Kim changing things up a bit. It’s time to date a hockey player. Mr. Ovechkin, I’d like to introduce you to Miss Kardashian. And if things go really well for the Caps, maybe the Great 8 can end up with the sports world’s two most prized possessions, the Stanley Cup and Kim Kardashian. He shoots he scores

4. This next prediction pains me to say but in 2012 we will lose a legend. William Shatner will pass away. I am not sure how he will die but I am sure it will be in the coolest way possible. R.I.P. Captain Kirk.

5. There will be another Twilight movie this year. I will remain on Team Don’t Give A Crap

6. An exciting new tech invention will come about this year. It’s a new feature for phones, the Motive Idea. It’s an advanced caller id. This new feature will not only tell you who is calling but will tell you what they want also. For example, your phone rings and says Dave is calling and that Dave needs help moving. You now know not to answer. When he calls back a month later to tell you about the house warming party you answer immediately. Good job 2012 technology.

7. Every year there are more reality TV shows and 2012 will be no different. I am especially looking forward to The Gumar. It’s a Bachelor style show where a mob boss goes on a series of dates with 25 women eventually narrowing them down to one lucky winner who gets to be his mistress, aka Gumar. I can’t wait!

8. Lightning round. Packers repeat as does Obama who wins despite getting less than 50% of the popular vote. The Help wins best picture. Adele wins every Grammy. I will drink less than last year but still too much and it will snow 9 inches on January 24th so plan accordingly.

Before I go, let me check the Mayan Calendar I got for Christmas. Let me see here….my birthday’s on a Friday this year, that’s cool…..Halloween’s on a Saturday, awesome. Ok, what else do we have here……………Oh, that’s not good. One last prediction people, the world ends in 2012. We all die. Except for Shatner. I was wrong about that earlier. He will survive. Nothing can kill Captain Kirk.