Here is my weekly column for the Montgomery Sentinel.
http://www.thesentinel.com/mont/Search/Pie12-1-11

The occupy movement is all over the news these days but it won’t step foot in this column. This column is all about a movement that is much closer to my heart and to my stomach, the Occupie Movement. What is the Occupie Movement, you ask. It’s a movement that’s sweeping the nation and by sweeping the nation I mean I just made it up. The Occupie Movement is all about pie…. yummy, delicious pie. Our goal as occupiers is to let the world know that pie is better than cake. We all have our purpose in life and mine is to preach about pie. I am sure some of you are wondering, is this movement really necessary? Hell yeah it is. Every cooking show these days on desserts is all about cake or cupcakes. Generations of children are growing up thinking loud, obnoxious, over the top cakes and cute, little, wimpy cupcakes are what’s cool. I don’t want our children growing up without a proper appreciation of pie. We can’t let the cake terrorists win. Pie beats cake every time. Now let me tell you why.

First of all, Pie tastes better. Everyone and I mean everyone loves pie. Have you ever seen anyone throw out any pie? Of course not. Cake gets thrown out all the time. Pie has so much more variety and depth to it. Pie can be hot, cold, savory or sweet. Pie has flavors like apple, cherry, key lime, coconut cream, rhubarb, pecan and chicken pot. Cake has yellow, white and black. What does yellow taste like? And yes I know about ice cream cake and cheesecake but those aren’t really cake. Ice cream cake is delicious because it has ice cream in it! You put ice cream in broccoli and broccoli might even taste good. I think it was Ben Franklin that once said, “If it can melt it isn’t cake.” Well maybe it was me that said that but whatever… The point is ice cream cake isn’t really cake and neither is cheesecake. Cheesecake is really a custard pie. There’s nothing cakey about it. Score another one for pie.

Second, cakes are for decorating. I watch Ace of Cakes and Cake Boss all the time. Every show they make these beautiful cakes that without a doubt should be admired. This cake looks like a baseball mitt, this one is our pet cat, this one is the Baltimore skyline, this cake shoots fireworks, etc. Every episode the client’s rave about how great the cake looks but no one ever mentions how good it tastes. Same deal with weddings. It’s all about how it looks not how it tastes. Cake is style over substance. Cake is that really hot girl with the really boring personality. Pie is the girl you marry.

Finally, pie evokes family and the Holidays. It makes you smile just thinking about it. At the end of every great holiday meal you have pie. We all have that Grandmother with her secret Apple Pie recipe that’s been passed down through the generations. You remember how good it used to smell in her kitchen? Cake doesn’t have a smell. Yankee Candle doesn’t sell cake scented candles. No one wants to smell icing.

The Occupie Movement is upon us people. It is our duty as pie loving people to rise up and fight the good fight, eat the good pie. I’ve started a Facebook page for the Occupie Movement. Really, I did. https://www.facebook.com/occupiemovement I expect all of you to go “Like” the page. It’s the right thing to do. Also, please go to the page and share some recipes. Or better yet come to my house and bake for me. I prefer Key Lime in case you were wondering. But most importantly, spread the word Occupiers. The Occupie Movement is real and it’s here to stay. We will not be denied. Say it loud, we love pie and we’re proud. Cakes are for decorating, pies are for devouring. Let freedom ring.